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Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™
Seth Godin’s daily posts range from the inspirational to the tactical. The mundane to the philosophical. So when a post punches me in the gut, in the best possible way, it gets me thinking. Which is his goal: Stop existing. Start thinking. Disrupt the status quo.
Recently, he wrote a post called But First, We Need to Talk About. The gist is that what we are willing to talk about gets attention, resources, and energy. So when we’re unwilling to talk about end-of-life health care costs or oppressive capitalist systems, we can’t change things. Instead, we pour countless hours of conversation into things like political infighting, Tik Tok crazes, or why Kim Kardashian ever dated Pete Davidson (those last 2 are way far out of my wheelhouse)
The realization hit me: This is why I’m talking about empathy at work and creating better leaders, cultures, and brands. I want us to pay attention, yes, but to actually make a change. Transform.
It started out with helping my clients craft an empathetic and engaging brand story, rooted in purpose. And yes, advising them on where they need to walk that talk in their culture, leadership, processes, or habits. But it’s become a bigger movement to me. One in which we rethink our existing models and narratives of leadership and organizational success.
For too long, we’ve adopted false and binary narratives that you have to choose between humanity and profits. That compassionate leaders cannot also be competitive. That ambition can’t co-exist with empathy and collaboration. That we need to be one person at work and another when we’re off the clock.
Who the hell made these rules? Oh, right, we did. Humans. Our capitalist and industrialized society.
And we blindly bought into this status quo.
Here’s the great news: We as humans have the power to CHANGE those rules. They are not laws of physics that cannot be broken. We made them. We can make new ones.. (TWEET THIS!)
But first, we gotta talk about it.
We have to talk about what is not working, where we are not being inclusive, and how our business practices might be harming our people or the environment. We need to admit that profit had been held up above all other concerns for too long. And that we can have both/and rather than either/or.
Then we need to talk about how we get there. How we re-establish new rules together. How we create a better workplace culture. How we make the entire for-business system better.
Are you ready to talk to your leaders, teams, and customers about the future of work and the empathy revolution? I’d love to help. Let’s chat about a transformative and provocative talk to kick this into action for your organization tomorrow!
Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™
Thought leadership is nothing new. Strong personalities make up the fabric of business success folklore. Henry Ford. Richard Branson. Steve Jobs. Oprah. Sara Blakely. Mark Cuban. Jessica Alba. Tony Hsieh.
Since becoming an entrepreneur in 2008, I have been exposed to so many more of these cult personalities that many folks who still work in corporate life have never heard of. Marie Forleo. Chris Brogan. Gary Vaynerchuk. And further, there are those thought leaders that influence us in the personal development and lifestyle space: Mel Robbins. Lisa Bilyeu. Glennon Doyle. Tony. Robbins.
Influencer marketing may be a fairly new concept, but thought leadership (which I equate as somewhat similar) has been around a long time. It’s a fabulous and authentic marketing tactic. Establish yourself not just as a successful leader in your organization, but as a leader in your industry. Someone who has their finger on the pulse of trends and customer insights.
There are many influencers and thought leaders that inspire me. From whom I learn a lot. But I am very skeptical of those who get elevated to gurus, saviors, and absolute truth-tellers.
It got me thinking about how we decide which influencers we will trust. Which we will follow. I don’t even like the word “follow”as it implies discipleship.
And that is my fundamental problem with many of the “gurus” out there. When I started out in entrepreneurship, I immediately spotted such snake oil salespeople a mile away. They promoted how they knew the “secret” to your business success. If you learn their formula or do things exactly the way they will tell you (for the low, low price of $5,000), you will be able to buy a jet! They planned extravagant conferences, walking onstage to pounding rock music and fire torches going off.
I saw new entrepreneurs, mostly women I have to admit, spending THOUSANDS of dollars they didn’t have to take a short cut promised by the so-called prophet. It made me so angry, I even tried to pitch a Wall Street Journal reporter to do a story on it.
We definitely need influence in our lives. But we have to be more discerning about who those people are, and what we expect from them. So how do you decide who to trust?
I believe it’s wise to avoid experts who raise these red flags:
Make you pay exorbitant amounts of money to learn their “secrets.”If they can offer a framework, or valuable lessons within a curriculum, that is one thing. But if they start making me think there is some secret shortcut to success or a “7-figure business”, I keep my guard up.
If their social media feeds are full of acolytes agreeing with every word that drops from their lips – or if followers expect them to have all the answers to the challenges in their own lives, I back away. We should never give anyone else that much power.
Anyone who encourages people to go into massive debt to fund their dreams. Not responsible. And not sustainable. Just gross. I’ve heard one such current trendy expert tells her “students” that if they don’t go into debt and max out their credit cards, they don’t want it badly enough. Big no for me.
How do I know who to trust? Well, that’s harder for me to put my finger on. I value authenticity, but not manufactured authenticity. It’s kind of like pornography: You know it when you see it. With our eyes wide open, we can tell when someone is genuinely trying to help people or when they are trying to hustle them. I also value those who treat others with kindness, respect, and empathy and don’t believe they are “too good” to talk with them. And I especially value those who you can disagree with and they invite this with curiosity rather than having their authority questioned.
We should always be questioning and conversing, not blindly following supposed influencers or experts.(TWEET THIS!)
No one has all the right answers, and we shouldn’t act like these people are gods. They are human. We can definitely be inspired by them, learn from them, and be open to new perspectives, but do so with our own self-confidence fully intact.
Who do you love to follow and learn from? What makes you trust them? Who do you currently avoid? Would love to know so please DM me on Instagram @redslice.
My dad, Joseph Piccininni, passed away at 93 years young at the beginning of July. He fought a ridiculously brave fight, constantly getting up again after heart issues, bladder cancer, kidney cancer, and more. One thing you never did with my dad was count him out!
For those who knew him, my dad LOVED a party. Quick with a joke, smile, and cocktail, he loved being around friends and family more than anything, never wanting to miss out. When we were planning my wedding, he said, “Make sure we have a fully stocked, open bar for our guests!”
Dad was married to my mom for 62 years before she passed away in 2016. He worked hard his whole life and was one of my earliest influences on having a strong work ethic. He was a butcher and in the auto wrecking business. among other things, before earning his college degree in night school while raising three young sons with my mom (I came along later) to become an engineer, which he was for more than 30 years. Dad even kept working into his 80’s, at the local butcher counter and as an Ohio State stadium usher! He loved designing and building things (structurally sound, but aesthetics could be better!) He built out the attic of our childhood home into a 2nd floor, designed and built a few sheds, decks, and even built our summer house in Mastic Beach, NY.
Dad served our country in the Korean War – and was always happy to share the story of that time he and his Army buddies attended a Hollywood party at Rosemary Clooney’s house in L.A.!
My dad taught me so many lessons about integrity, inclusivity, and happiness – lessons that have helped me succeed my whole life and into my entrepreneurial journey. He welcomed everyone into his home – our friends, neighbors, workmates. His zest for life was palpable. He taught me that age is just a number and you are only as old as you act or feel. “Appreciate your age, Maria. In 10 years time, you’ll wish you were the age you are now, so always enjoy it!”
Dad wrote me a six page letter when I went off to college – and told me it would be the last such letter he’d ever write to me. In it, he shared how proud he was of me, and gave me all sorts of advice for life: Honor yourself and your integrity. Work hard and honestly at whatever you do. Surround yourself with good people and friends. Never lose sight of who you are and the generations who came before you. And to enjoy every single second of college – and life.
As a kid, it was my dad who helped me (unwillingly) learn to not care what other people think. He always loved embarrassing us kids in public! Usually, it involved singing loudly in a parking lot or doing something goofy in front of our friends! He loved turning almost anything into a song – grocery shopping, trash collecting. Dad also had a strange fascination with cheesy 80’s music, in addition to his love of the Rat Pack and Big Band era. He often sang “I Just Called to Say I Love You” when he’d phone me up.
Luckily, my son and I got back from our London vacation in time to say goodbye to my dad before he passed away. He was unresponsive but he knew we were there. Every now and then he’d open his eyes and nod. We played his favorite Rat Pack music for him. We kissed him goodbye. We left that first night and I just knew in my heart he had seen all of us and could now leave in peace. He passed away the following morning.
My dad taught me how to love life, how to welcome people into my home, how to work hard, how to live adventurously yet also with integrity. And in his own way, he taught me valuable lessons about what choices not to make, and I’m equally grateful for those. I love that I got to speak to him a few days before he died, by video, when we were both able to say Ï love you” to each other.
Who influences you? From whom have you learned valuable lessons? It could be a parent or another role model. It’s a great idea to take stock on the lessons that person has taught you and how it influences your everyday life and action. In the end, who made you who you are?
Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™
Last week, I hit 100 episodes on The Empathy Edge podcast.. 100 episodes! In that time, I’ve had the chance to speak with best-selling authors, CEO’s, marketing leaders, psychologists, social and emotional learning experts, culture consultants, and DEI champions.
The podcast started in August 2020 as a way to keep my empathy research going. Spending three years writing The Empathy Edge, I immersed myself in the data, stories, and interviews. And then once the book was out, promotion began. And the research stopped.
Suddenly, I didn’t see that latest report. The data I was using was outdated. Oh, and a global pandemic changed the way we work and how we interact with each other.
As the topic of empathy became more mainstream and evolved, a podcast seemed like a great excuse to keep interviewing experts – the best part of working on a new book! And you know me – I love to talk about empathy.
A podcast is as much fun and as much work as I thought it’d be. But it’s the best kind. And it has taught me many valuable lessons about connection, conversation, and change.(TWEET THIS!)
Five Lessons From 100 Podcast Interviews
And, if you’re thinking of starting your own podcast, how this experience can transform you.
Never Go It Alone
When I set out, I knew I didn’t want to tackle this alone. What mic do I buy? How do I even list a podcast on Apple? Who will do my production and editing (because that makes me want to poke my eyes out). A friend connected me to a friend, Erica Mills Barnhart, who had her own podcast and she told me about her production team, Turnkey Podcast. I went to them and said, “Please help me make this happen.”They immediately put me in a Launch Your Podcast course. I got everything done that needed done and now this dream team edits and produces my podcast every week, just for you.
Learn How to Listen – and Ask on Behalf of Others
Having been on many podcasts before, I knew how to do my spiel. But hosting is another ballgame. You have to learn how to listen. And respond. It’s a lot like acting, really. Curiosity was not too hard for me, as I’m fascinated by my guests and their experiences. But I also have to ask the right questions to move the conversation along. I don’t like too many podcasts because it annoys me when the hosts ramble on and on about themselves, or don’t get the guest to answer the question asked – or the question I have as a listener. I have learned to think even more about my audience and what they would want to know. What do they need? My job is to get that info out of my guest for them.
A Podcast is A Great Way to Meet Amazing People
Forget the awkward LinkedIn connection request: My podcast enables me to reach out to anyone and everyone I find interesting and have a chat! If you are naturally curious like me, this is a wonderful way to build authentic connections. Some of my guests have even become clients, or have hired me as an empathy keynote speaker or empathy workshop leader at internal and customer events.. But that’s not why I talk to them. I invite them on because they have something to teach us all. And stories humanize us. The more stories I can help tell, the more I can create more empathy in the world.This is why I’m committed to inviting women, BIPOC, LGBTQIA+ and other underrepresented leaders and experts to my microphone.
Organic Conversation is Authentic Conversation
We have talking points, sure. And prepared questions. But I invite my guests to feel like we are having a casual chat. It’s not just rote Q&A. It’s interaction. We add to each other. We interrupt each other.. We go off on a tangent if that’s the conversation’s next logical step. We embrace ad hoc joy for scripted humor. The best compliment I get is when people say they feel like they are sitting with us over coffee! When you do a podcast, yes, prepare, but keep room for organic flow for a much richer experience for both of you – and your listeners.
There are So Many People Working to Make the World a Better Place
I think the most valuable lesson I have learned from 100 interviews is that there is hope. If we seek out the changemakers who are doing hard things, we find that there are thousands, millions of ways people are making a difference. Whether they are a CEO of a social enterprise helping Ethiopian women escape human trafficking, a coach helping women find their own voice, a doctor helping children become more emotionally resilient, a DEI expert helping parents crack open tough conversations about race, a workplace crusader trying to help build cultures where people can thrive at work, a marketing leader using his company’s brand to stand up to racial injustice, or a community buidling expert sharing how to make online communities more authentic and connective for mutual benefit…..all of my 100 guests have shown me that you can work toward empathy in ways big and small.
Which one is my favourite? That’s like asking me to pick a favourite kid! But I invite you to take a listen and DM me on IG to let me know which one is YOUR favourite!
Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™
So much of what’s happening in the world right now is fueled by hate. Division. Us against them. And sadly, some of us are only moved to action when we get angry. Our blood boils, our pulse quickens, and we step into fight mode.
Rage can be a good thing if it fuels progress. And Lord knows marketers use fear, uncertainty and doubt all the time to drive people to purchase.
But does it always have to be that way?
I’ve been reading Bell Hooks’ book All About Love: New Visions, and man, it’s impacting my heart. Hard. It has caused me to question my very definition of love in a gentle, quiet way. Her writing is beautiful, provocative, thoughtful and concise. I wish I could write like that!
A recent chapter got me thinking: What if we strive for change, social justice, human rights, and equity with love not anger? Can love be enough to kick us into action just as much as anger and fear? What if we genuinely loved our enemies, those we fear, the liars, the charlatans, the power-hungry AND still took action? Could that be enough to catalyze massive change?
I’m not talking about being passive or sitting idly by. I’m talking about taking fierce action fueled by love, not anger and pain. When we are angry, we’re so tight, scrunched up, erratic. Could we get further – and be gentler to our own psyches – if we approached social change from love, not hate? Could we listen better, persuade better, and surprise those selfish children in front of us enough with our response that their own fears and facades crumble when faced with our tenacity – and leave them sobbing in our arms?
Could we be more powerful if we met tyranny and hate with love-fueled action rather than anger-fueled action? What if?. (TWEET THIS!)
Do you see this possibility or think it naive? Eager to hear your thoughts on this. DM me on Instagram!
Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™
Marketing gets such a bad rap. Most often, people perceive that it’s about lying to people. When we witness soda companies and fast food restaurants conveniently brush aside the negative health effects of their products – or cosmetic companies literally making up ingredient names to feed into the culture’s obsessions with youthful skin – well, it can be hard to see marketing as anything but a sham.
But the fact remains that marketing is not about lying to people. It’s about elevating the truth of your story so the right people who need your offerings can benefit.
Marketing requires integrity. So it requires bravery to stand up to those who would have marketing do their dirty work for them. I remember working for a company and put my foot down with the CEO (shaking in my boots, at the time) to say I would no longer tout his unsubstantiated claim unless we had data to back it up.
My clients often ask: When we’re crafting our brand strategy, should it be a reflection of who we are now (authentic) or who we want to someday be (aspirational)?
My answer: It’s a little bit of both but only if you are committed to changing culture, policies, product, structure to make that story a reality.
Brand story should be authentic. And it can also be aspirational if leaders commit to making the necessary operational and culture changes to ensure that story becomes reality.(TWEET THIS!)
If you are a marketer, PR professional, brand strategist: I ask you to pledge with me that you will help your clients and leaders articulate the truth of their story, while also working toward the aspirational brand story they seek. It’s your job to walk that fine line with them so you keep the brand story inspiring while also committing to the truth.
Every organization has its strengths. Play to those. And be real about calling out where the claims have no substance so you can guide the organization to shore up the proof needed, to start changing things internally so they can truly walk the talk they want to talk.
This month, Ketanji Brown Jackson was confirmed to the US Supreme Court – the first Black woman to be on the bench. A woman with way more qualifications and experience than any of the sitting judges. And yet she had to prove herself over and over, and was subjected to ridiculous questions, biased scrutiny and outright disrespect.
Some people may not understand why this is being celebrated, so let me tell you: REPRESENTATION MATTERS
We hear that phrase a lot, but what does “Representation Matters”mean?
It means others from that same group can see themselves in those same achievements and see what is possible for their own lives. Representation provides validation and support for similar groups – especially children – that they, too, can accomplish those goals.”IÏf you can see it, you can be it.”
It means educating majority groups to see such people in positive, non-stereotypical ways. For example, female scientists, gay doctors, hispanic academics, asian athletes.
It means seeing yourself and your story reflected in media, advertising, literature, and art to reflect on your own lived experiences and normalize those experiences for others.
If we want to create a more empathetic workplace and world – and make better decisions for everyone – we have to start by having more diverse voices at the table (Tweet This!)
That is why representation matters.
Related posts and info for you:
We discuss the impact of seeing role models “like you”on the “What the Hell is the Patriarchy?!” episode of my other podcast Jonni & Maria Go Thereso please check it out.
How we name or articulate something defines how we see it. We often get lazy and use words in the wrong way (ever heard someone say “mute” instead of “moot” point?). But that can have a profound impact on how effectively we connect with each other.
If someone says they “love” you, it should mean something, Yet, I throw around the word “love” all the time whether I’m talking about my son, TV shows or tacos.
Words have power. They can inspire, provoke, oppress, terrorize, mislead, persuade, or comfort. (TWEET THIS!)
We have to get better at intentionally choosing our words and not taking for granted that we know what we’re both talking about .
Speaking of love, the feminist writer and cultiural icon bell hooks wrote in All About Love: New Visions (Love Song to the Nation Book 1): “imagine how much easier it would be for us to learn how to love if we began with a shared definition. The word ‘love’ is most often defined as a noun, yet all the most astute theorists of love acknowledge that we would all love better if we use it as a verb.”
Words matter.
One person I follow on LinkedIn and who will shortly be on The Empathy Edge podcast is Suzanne Werhtheim, Ph.D. She talks about inclusive language and posts great content about different words and phrases related to inclusion and how you can say something better to be more inclusive of others.
When it comes to your message, don’t take words for granted. Have empathy for your audience so they can receive your message with open arms and take action. Words are nuanced. Words evoke emotion, depending on the lived experience of your target audience. Choose wisely.
I never thought I’d own my own business. But here I am, just celebrating 14 years of Red Slice.
Whoa. It’s the longest job I’ve ever had!
My corporate career was very successful and I was on a good trajectory. I liked getting regular paychecks, benefits, clear goals and metrics (most of the time!). I thrived on working in teams.
For those who want to know the nuts and bolts of how Red Slice came to be, check out this 3-part Behind the Scenes series from a while ago. In it, I shared a lot of very specific lessons at each phase.
In general, here are 3 lessons for entrepreneurs – hard-won advice from this self-proclaimed accidental entrepreneur!
Define Your Goal, Purpose, and Definition of Success. You cannot skip this step. YOu might roll your eyes at this advice, but let me tell you. I did not quite hammer this out – as I said, my entrepreneurial journey was not quite super mapped out. I did have a vague idea of what I wanted Red Slice to be – and ended up changing that vision 2 years later. You can always adapt and pivot. But start off with some kind of map of where you’re going and MORE IMPORTANTLY, why are you doing it? What is your motivator? This will steady you through some storms as you move forward. And never let anyone else define success for you. What does success look like for you? For me, it was creating more freedom in my life. It wasn’t about building a huge global agency. I was very clear on this from the beginning! In that respect, I have achieved immense success!
Don’t Go It Alone: No one is an expert at everything. Starting out, it’s super important to have a good bookkeeper/accountant and lawyer. Set things up the right way to save yourself headaches later. Sure, you have to be scrappy at first. I didn’t hire my first virtual assistant until years into my business. And I paid the price in wasting a lot of time and doing things inefficiently. Know when it’s time to pay someone else for their expertise so you can operate in your own zone of genius. Don’t try to be a hero. When you need help, connections, referrals, advice – ASK! No smart business person will think any less of you.
Be Open to Change: What’s that they say about change being the only constant?! Don’t get so set in your plan that you miss out on opportunities – or that you make yourself miserable trying to make something work that just isn’t. I adapted my business a few years in and was so glad I did. It was a risk, but it was a smart one and it paid off. If I’d held on too tightly to my original picture of what I thought my work would look like, I’d be super miserable and not half as successful as I have been. Never say never!
Entrepreneurship is hard, but it is such a journey of self-discovery. You get to know yourself, push your limits, and achieve your goals! (TWEET THIS!)
Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™
As we close out on another year of a global pandemic, I’m struck by how much we’ve all learned about ourselves. How we rediscovered resilience, got creative, and finally started to live authentically. And by authentically, I mean getting real about issues ranging from racial inequity to mental health to standing stronger in our own political beliefs and convictions.
Can you relate?
As we kick off a new year, you will no doubt be inundated by the blogs, emails, and social media memes telling you, once again, how to live your best life. How to make your new year spectacular! How to reach your goals! How to have a kickass 2022!
I’m not going to do that to you.
What I am going to do is share 3 wise pieces of advice and encouragement with you. Golden nuggets that you can do with what you choose: Either pick up your shield and sword and run headlong into the fray, on a mission to MAKE S%&T HAPPEN!!!
Or, glide gently into a new year, still a bit shaken from the last two years, but with hopeful expectations and optimism.
However you choose to enter 2022, or any new year, is the right way for you (TWEET THIS!)
3 Encouraging Pieces of Advice for the New Year
Define Success on your Terms: We hear this all the time but in these times, it matters more than ever. Some of us want 7 figure businesses while others simply want to enjoy watching their kids grow up. Design the life you want, according to no one else but you. Be clear about your values and use them to determine where you will focus your time, money, and energy this year. Defining our values for the year matters more than a laundry list of resolutions we will most likely break by January 15!
Prioritize your Mental Health: This is less a piece of advice and more of a plea. Especially after hearing of the tragic sucide of one of my friend’s son’s college classmates. It’s okay not to be okay. We are fragile humans, regardless of our socio-economic status, where we live, what we do for a living. We have been through a lot. Thankfully, the stigma around mental health is slowly disappearing. It’s actually hard to get a therapist these days! But there are apps you can use, or modalities like yoga, acupuncture or meditation you can try. More your body. Take a break. Call a friend and cry on their shoulder. Reach out for help and support and do whatever you need to do. Make your mental health as much a priority as charging up your phone.
Love Your Loves: This gem is attributed to the amazing Diane Easley. She is an entrepreneur, coach, and friend who unexpectedly lost her husband several years ago and has been preaching this concept ever since. Take the time to discern who is worth your time and energy and hold those people close. Make them a priority. Tell them what they mean to you, every chance you get. Relationships are what matter in the end. We intellectually know this, but think we’ll never run out of time. We will. So make the moments you have count.
This year, I turned 49. That means, if I’m lucky, I will likely only get 40 or 50 more new years to celebrate. Think about that. 40 or 50 more new years, summer vacations, Christmases.
What is your number? And are you going to make this next one count in all the ways that actually matter?
If we hold fast to these guideposts, then our year will surely be full of joy, success, and delight, come what may. Happy New Year!
