I have a confession.
I have a habit, and my husband will absolutely back me up on this, of telling him that I thought about buying him something. I see something, think “oh he would love that,” life gets busy, and the thought never turns into action. And I always say the same thing when he calls me out: “It’s the thought that counts!”
Except it doesn’t. Not really. Not when it comes to the things that actually matter.
Thinking about being a better leader, thinking about creating a more human workplace — none of that counts if it never becomes a decision. A real, firm, committed decision that you then act on. Wanting is not deciding. And deciding without acting is just a slightly more sophisticated form of not doing anything at all.
The Whatabout in the Room
I see you. You are the person in the back of the room at my talks who raises their hand and says “But what about Elon Musk? What about China and how they treat their workers? Those organizations are innovating and finding enormous success. So what do you say to that?”
Yes. There will always be outliers. But study after study, from Google to Gallup to Deloitte, shows that human-centered leadership leads to exponential results, competitive advantage, higher engagement, more innovation, and sustainable long-term success.
You have the information. The question is no longer whether this approach works. The question is what you are going to do with that knowledge.
What kind of leader do you want to be? What legacy do you want to leave? That is a decision. And it is yours to make.
30 Seconds Between Meetings
A senior leader recently told me that her clarity moment came when she had 30 seconds between back-to-back meetings and had to choose between getting a glass of water or going to the bathroom. She could not do both.
In that moment, she saw the insanity of the machine we have built that chews people up and spits them out, not because it has to, but because we decided to build it that way. And we can decide to build it differently. We cannot wait for some external catalyst. We as leaders need to decide, every single day, what kind of organization we are building and what kind of leader we are being.
You Can’t Wait Until Life Isn’t Hard Anymore
Some of you may remember Nightbirde from America’s Got Talent, who auditioned with an original song despite battling aggressive cancer. When asked how she was doing, she said something that has never left me: “You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore to decide to be happy.”
She never made it to the live shows. She passed away not long after. But those words outlived her illness.
And I think about them constantly when I am tempted to wait for the right moment, the better economy, the less chaotic news cycle, before choosing to show up as the leader I want to be.
The right moment is not coming. This is the moment.
18 More Years
I recently celebrated the 18th anniversary of the day I almost died from a ruptured brain aneurysm. Eighteen years I almost did not get. A son. Spain, Puerto Rico, Costa Rica, Tuscany. Four books, a TEDx talk, a business, taking stages to support leaders. Sixteen more years of marriage. When I reflect on that, I am not just grateful. I am galvanized.
There is no dress rehearsal. We get one life. And what matters most is not what happens to us, but what we decide to do with what we are given.
I know not everyone has the power or privilege to change their situation. Some people are genuinely stuck, and I honor that reality. But plenty of you reading this DO have power within your sphere of influence. More agency than you might be giving yourself credit for.
My Challenge to You
You are more than your intentions. You are your decisions.
Choosing to be an empathetic, legacy-minded, human-centered leader does not happen because you wish it so. It happens because you choose it. Over and over again. Even when it is hard. Especially when it is hard.
What will you decide? How will you show up? Who will you choose to be?
Not someday. Now. Today. In your next meeting. In your next conversation. In the next decision you make about how to treat the people you lead.
You have agency. Use it.
