Tag: empathy

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Empathy Circles at Work: A Powerful Tool with Limitation

Posted on by Red Slice

As someone who has dedicated my career to helping leaders infuse empathy into their work, I’m always fascinated by the practical tools that bring this concept to life. 

One such tool I’ve known about for quite some time is Empathy Circles—a structured approach to fostering understanding and connection. I first heard about Empathy Circles from Edwin Rutsch and his team at the Center for Building a Culture of Empathy. Edwin and I met when he attended The Empathy Edge book launch party in Berkeley in 2019. He shared how his team has used Empathy Circles at the most divisive political rallies the U.S. has seen in recent years. They set up Empathy Tents at these rallies to get a person from each side of the political spectrum into a tent and facilitate listening to each other. Not to convert, but to LISTEN.

I then attended the group’s intense and rewarding free online training on Empathy Circle facilitation. And wow, was it eye-opening! It was a painful but necessary workout for my active listening muscles and how to withhold judgment to allow someone to be fully heard.

Edwin’s mission is that Empathy Circles become the foundational practice for empathy, just as meditation is for mindfulness.

Recently, I had the chance to speak at one of Edwin’s Empathy Summits where we specifically discussed the Empathy Circle practice. I presented both the pluses and the minuses of leveraging Empathy Circles at work.

You can view the full Summit and speakers here and my 10-minute presentation here.

Empathy circles can be incredibly powerful in the workplace, but they’re not without their limitations.

The Pros and Cons of Empathy Circles in the Workplace

What are Empathy Circles? Picture a safe, supportive environment where team members can share their perspectives and be deeply heard. One person moderates and keeps time. A speaker is given a time limit, say 5 minutes, and chooses a Listener. Remaining members are just silent observers. At periodic intervals, the Listener then reflects back what they heard the person say – without judgment or commentary. The Speaker can then correct or confirm what the Listener stated before continuing. The Listener becomes the next Speaker and so it continues on. The set structure of these circles encourages active listening, reflection, and, most importantly, connection. 

See one for yourself right here.

I’ve participated in Empathy Circles myself, and let me tell you—it’s harder than it looks! It requires you to fully focus on someone else’s words without jumping in with advice or counterpoints. It’s a muscle we all need to exercise, especially in the workplace.

My book, The Empathy Dilemma, presents the 5 Pillars of Effective Empathetic Leadership. and how they are supported by curiosity, active listening, withholding judgment, and synthesizing multiple perspectives. Empathy circles directly support these underlying skills. By creating a space for open dialogue, these circles help team members understand each other’s contexts and experiences. This can be transformative for resolving tensions or bridging generational and cultural divides.

However, empathy circles aren’t a one-size-fits-all solution. While they excel at fostering connection, making space for someone to speak their mind, and resolving conflicts, they’re not always the best modality for every leadership need. 

For example: You’ve got two people on your team who don’t get along and it’s impacting the work. Get them in a room and facilitate an Empathy Circle so that they can hear each other. Provide that space where people can share their stories, their perspectives, or their feedback, in a safe, supportive environment without interruption or judgment.

Another example:  Brainstorming meetings could really benefit from using a structure like an Empathy Circle so that everyone – whether introverted or extroverted –  can be heard. Everyone gets equal air time.

Empathy Circles may be less effective in product design meetings where decisions need to be made, or ideas need to be built upon. And perhaps they may not be effective when conducting performance reviews. Why? Because they’re designed to prioritize listening and understanding, not necessarily rapid and additive back-and-forth exchanges or decision-making. For effective feedback loops, leaders need to ask clarifying questions and offer constructive input—something that traditional Empathy Circles don’t always allow.

This brings me to an important point about empathetic leadership: it’s not about being nice or avoiding tough conversations. It’s about showing up with curiosity and courage. Sometimes, that means using tools like Empathy Circles to create a foundation of trust and mutual respect. Other times, it means shifting to a different approach, like open-ended Q&A sessions or iterative feedback mechanisms, to meet specific goals.

One of the biggest barriers to empathy in the workplace is ego. As leaders, we must let go of the need to always be right or have all the answers. Empathy circles are a great exercise in doing just that. They remind us to listen without judgment, ensure we understand the other person, and view others’ experiences as valid, even if they differ from our own.

But let’s not stop there. While Empathy Circles are a valuable tool, they’re just one part of an empathetic leadership toolkit. Leaders can consider other modalities that support innovation, performance, and accountability. And they should never lose sight of the ultimate goal: creating an environment where people feel seen, heard, and valued.

So, where does this leave us? Empathy Circles are a powerful way to practice active listening and resolve conflicts, but they’re not the be-all and end-all. By understanding their strengths and limitations, leaders can use them strategically alongside other tools to build a culture of empathy and high performance.

Please remember: the key to empathetic leadership isn’t perfection; it’s progress. Let’s keep moving forward, one empathetic conversation at a time.

Find or join an Empathy Circle on a topic of your choice to see for yourself.

If you’d like to try an Empathy Circle for your team, please reach out to me. I am trained in effective facilitation and would love to support you in creating stronger connections, building collaboration, and learning how to listen across differences.

Photo credit: Edwin Rutsch, Online Global Empathy Circle Facilitator Training, 2021

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Empathy in Life AND At Work is Worth Fighting For

Posted on by Red Slice

The Dalai Lama had a lot to say about business and leadership. Yes, the Dalai Lama.

A few years ago, I read the book A Force for Good: The Dalai Lama’s Vision for Our World  by Daniele Goleman. It was a game changer for me, in terms of marrying values, ethics, and business – with a splash of spirituality.

Imagine a world where compassion is the norm.

This is the world I’m trying to build with my work. 

His Holiness has met with leaders from around the world and has seen how many of them bring purpose and positive energy into their work – and how successful they were as a result. He often talks about self-awareness and self-mastery being the essence of good leadership. And if you are able to be self-aware and have self-mastery, that usually means you are putting your ego aside for something greater than yourself.

When studies like the 2024 Businessolver State of Workplace Empathy report still show that 37% of CEO’s, 30% of HR professionals, and 244% of employees believe empathy doesn’t have a place in the workplace – IMHO that number should be zero – while ALSO claiming higher rates of workplace toxicity and mental health challenges, how are they not putting the two things together?

Business is just another way we humans interact with one another. It’s not outside of ourselves. For many of us, we spend the bulk of our time there. 

How is it possible that some of us still think we have some sort of armor we put on when we clock in, or, like the Apple TV series Severance, that a chip is implanted in us to forget about everything going on in our personal lives when we walk through the office door – and everything about our work life is gone when we take the elevator back up?

Empathy belongs in any place where humans interact with other humans.

When we lose touch with our ability to be compassionate in the face of adversity, challenge or tough decisions, we relinquish our humanity. 

We shouldn’t be required to give up our humanity just to work at an accounting firm, software company, or construction site. We should be able to be whole people wherever we are in the world. However, we move about it, and with whomever we choose to interact. 

There are some pretty awful leadership role models entering our spheres of business, society, and government. There always have been, there always will be It’s easy to say we’re resigned to that. But we cannot go gentle into that goodnight, as poet Dylan Thomas once wrote. Human connection, empathy, and compassion are worth fighting for. And we fight for them not with weapons and screaming, but by embracing those values. By modeling them, celebrating them, and rewarding them in whatever sphere of influence we have. We fight by disproving the false belief that you can’t be empathetic and successful or impactful at the same time.

Only then can we really strengthen the connections that are needed to build community.

We have a mental health crisis in our culture. We are dealing with a loneliness epidemic, toxic masculinity, and oppressive systems that only make room for a few while hurting the many. Society could not be flying a large enough banner across the sky to tell us we need to change something. We need to embrace empathy again.

The Dalai Lama got it. Smart, successful leaders I speak to all the time get it. So I invite you to be part of turning the tide – speak out, and model empathy and compassion whether you’re with your kids, on social media, stuck in traffic, or, yes, at a budget meeting at work.

For further reading: 

3 Observations About Compassion from the Dalai Lama

How Purpose Leads to Company Success

Empathy for Others Starts with Empathy for Yourself 

Photo Credit: Becca Henry Photography

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Is Innovation a Priority? Then You Need Empathy

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Smart companies understand that innovation is required to compete in a rapidly changing market. Samudra Group is a dynamic ecosystem of communities called Trusts – of which I’m proud to be a part – that offer ideas, insight, and collaboration to encourage more purpose and innovation.

In a recent email to members, Samudra cited an important BCG study:

83% of Companies Rank Innovation as a Top-Three Priority, Yet Just 3% Are Ready to Deliver on Those Innovation Goals – BCG

A TOP 👏3 👏PRIORITY 👏!

Samudra commented in that member email that “A lack of innovation can stifle a company by making it less competitive in a rapidly changing market. Without new products, services, or processes, businesses risk falling behind rivals that are more adaptive to emerging trends and customer needs.”

Smart leaders know this And yet…..

A study by Catalyst showed that “61% of people with highly empathic senior leaders report often or always being innovative at work compared to only 13% of people with a less empathic senior leader.”

61% vs 13%. That’s a huge delta in lost innovation – and lost competitive advantage and revenue. All because leaders are not paying attention to creating an empathetic culture or investing in practices, rewards, or even professional development that includes strengthening empathy.

Look, we know that every company faces different challenges as to why they are unable to execute innovation goals. But creating a culture where innovation can thrive through empathy is something very much in their control –  if they make it a priority,

The problem: We are not optimizing our human potential in non-empathetic workplaces.

Bottom line: Stressed brains don’t learn. When we operate in a stressful environment, one ruled by fear, exclusion, dictatorship, or anxiety, it impairs our cognitive functions including our ability to concentrate and remember information, according to Dr, Lorea Martinez, social-emotional learning coach and creator of The Heart in Mind model. 

Her video is worth 5 minutes of your time. While she talks about this in the context of students under chronic stress, this is true for ALL humans at any age

The release of cortisol causes us to have trouble with memory, focus, and problem-solving, 

Is it really a smart business move to create an environment where your “resources” operate at diminished capacity when you can actually do something about it? Especially if you claim innovation is a top 3 priority?!

Heed Dr. Martinez’ 3 tips on what to do in the classroom for stressed students and adapt it to your workplace of stressed employees,

Don’t just talk a big game on your innovation priorities, Create the environment that enables it to flourish and deliver big results.

Photo Credit:  Catalyst 

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Scary Leaders…or Scared Leaders?

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Woooooooo! Halloween is just around the corner and decorations are already up in our neighborhood. Not our house yet, mind you – we’re still settling into the new place. But this neighborhood takes its Halloween very seriously, which will be awesome for my son.

The ghouls, goblins and…. Gladiators (?) – my son’s chosen costume this year – will be out in full force, as will the spooky music, haunted houses, chills, and thrills.

We humans have this weird desire to scare ourselves for fun!

But fear and horror in the workplace is less desirable. And nothing can strike more fear into our hearts than…Dun Dun DUUUUUUNNNNN! Scary bosses!

I truly believe that most scary or ineffective leaders have no self-awareness about how poorly they come across and how much psychological torture they induce. Unless they are sadists, of course. And that’s because their negative behavior is almost always a result of their own fears.

Fear of losing control.

Fear of looking stupid.

Fear of failure.

Imposter syndrome

Fear of letting anyone see the real person inside. 

A former white nationalist turned speaker and anti-hate activist Arno Michaelis, who wrote the book My Life After Hate, and whose story I recently got a chance to learn and was so moved by, I’ve invited him on to the podcast, reminded me of the familiar adage: 

Hurt People Hurt People.

And that is never more true that for bad bosses.

They don’t realize that their attempts to look good and maintain control an command are ruining their chances of success. That when they create fear, anxiety, and stress it is anything but beneficial to competition – it actually neutralizes high performance.

Studies sow that when we are under perceived stress, it can cause lower cognitive scores and a faster rate of cognitive decline.  Some studies, like those cited by CNN, show how stress lowers cognitive function. Even after adjusting for many physical risk factors, people with elevated stress levels were 37% more likely to have poor cognition, the researchers found.

We literally can’t think straight when we’re operating under stress of fear. Our executive functions shut down. We can’t engage the parts of our brain that we need in our work when we’re in a constant state of flight, flight, or freeze.

Why on earth would a leader knowingly degrade their biggest assets- their people – in such a blatant way? Successful leaders want their teams to be operating at optimal capacity – to invent, problem solve,  create, innovate, remember important facts. All the things we need our frontal lobe to do!

If they would embrace empathy as a strategic advantage, they would see how their teams engagement, performance, and innovation would increase. They would be able to get the best out of the people they need to do the work! And those people could perform at levels that ultimately, would make the leader look good and advance their own goals.

Fear does not work for the long term. And it certainly doesn’t work for outperforming in challenging markets. 

I would advise any leaders out there who struggle to create strong connections with their teams – or those of you who recognize these bad behaviors in your own leaders to invest in empathy.

Open yourself up to a new way to lead and operate. Or risk falling way behind.  Be vulnerable in your journey to be a more empathetic leader – while still expecting high performance nad holding people accountable. But watch your people rise to the challenge, rather than get crushed under the negativity.

The goal is performance, right? So stop trying to scare the hell out of your people out of some underlying desire for respect or fear of failure. Examine your own emotional triggers and backstory and interrogate yourself with a curious mind. 

Could you find another way to operate, be more effective, and cause less harm?

I bet you could. If you’re willing to walk through that door. I promise, there won’t be some crazed maniac inside waiting to torture you like all the Halloween movies would have us believe. In this movie, I promise that what waits around that dark corner is actually a whole lof light!

Photo credit: Oxsana Melis on Unsplash

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Brain Injury Recovery: Letting Go of the Past to Accelerate Success

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September is Brain Aneurysm Awareness Month. And August 4 was my 16 year “annie-versary” (as they call it) of surviving my own near-fatal brain aneurysm.

So many blessing to be thankful for. So many lessons learned.

In my  memoir Rebooting My Brain, I shared that my own worst obstacle was not about my cognitive deficits or any physical limitations. Not even my impaired eyesight at the time. It came from within ME.

My stubbornness in refusing to change and adapt. 

I kept trying to compare myself to the Old Me, to the baseline that existed before. “But before, I could do ….easier, faster, better! I just need to do it like that again!”

Until a very kind occupational therapist challenged me with tough love, saying, “Forget about what you used to do or how you used to be”  She challenged me to face what was  in front of me right now and figure out new strategies to get to my goals..

Once I stopped clinging to the past and embraced what was now in front of me, I found new ways to achieve my goals  – and I thrived. My progress accelerated.

And this is exactly what I’m seeing leaders doing now, in our post-pandemic workplaces. Leaders refusing to adapt. Leaders clinging to outdate models. Leaders return to what they know out of fear.

What does that look like? 

  • Demanding 5 days a week back in the office
  • Refusing to keep some of the flexibility they offered during the Pandemic
  • Cutting DEIB programs and budgets

And you can probably fill in more examples you’ve seen.

My empathy speaker work is about helping leadering understand how to adapt to the new paradigms of leadership and workplace culture. Once they do, their progress and success will accelerate,  just as it did for me!

However, here’s the plot twist:

Employees, you have agency, too. 

If you are lucky enough to have a leadership team who understands the benefits they get from offering flexibility and a more human-centered workplace,  great. But if you are not, YOU STILL GET TO MAKE A CHOICE. You deal with the new reality before you.

Stop trying to fit a square peg into a round hole – or culture, if you will.

If your organization’s business decisions no longer align with your values or lifestyle, you get to make a decision to adapt. 

The company is showing you who they are. They are allowed to do business however they see fit. Yes, even if it’s short-sighted, limiting, and will hurt them competitively in the long run. 

BU they are not required to change for you. A human-centered workplace does not equal a YOU-centered workplace, unfortunately. The company also has a responsibility to all its employees and customers to run sustainable, with governance and compliance as they see fit. 

So the choice is yours: 

Despite your best efforts to create change where you are, will you continue to defiantly cling to the flexibilities you used to have during the Pandemic. Or will you adapt to the reality before you and chart a new path? Find a new company or role that better aligns with your values and needs?

Once you do, your progress and success will accelerate.

PS, Let’s take a moment to acknowledge that not every worker has the luxury of just leaving an inflexible environment and finding a new job. But if you are able to in your industry or career, it may be time to adapt and move on in order to thrive.

Photo credit: Ankush Minda on Unsplash

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

Empathy and Joy in… Politics?!

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Anyone who has had to endure the DMV knows there can often be little joy in government. 

But a few weeks ago, U.S. Democratic leaders encouraged us to find joy in politics. Yes, POLITICS. The joy in helping others, building a strong country and equitable future. Joy in rolling up our sleeves and getting involved to help our communities and our nation thrive.

I was struck by how often both “empathy” and “joy” were mentioned at the Democratic National Convention, because JOY is the 5th Pillar of The 5 Pillars of Effective and Empathetic Leadership, from my forthcoming new book, The Empathy Dilemma: How Successful Leaders Balance Performance People and Personal Boundaries (Get your copy now!)

It’s not about the work being joyful all the time. It can’t possibly be in any organization (spreadsheets anyone?) But let’s not assume joy contradicts “tackling serious issues” or “getting results.”

The word JOY in politics may rub some the wrong way, especially when many Americans are struggling to pay rent, buy a home, afford prescription drugs, manage multiple jobs, find opportunities, untangle bureaucracy, and protect our rights and bodily autonomy.

But it is in these times where JOY is exactly what a savvy empathetic leader leverages to motivate, engage, and get people thriving. And it’s how you can get the best out of your teams as well, even when the work is difficult.

Creating joyful energy catalyzes ACTION. And ACTION is what enables your organization (or government or country) to succeed so everyone can thrive.

Empathy AND results can co-exist. Both/And. Learn more about why and how in my new book!

Photo Credit: Mike Erskine, Unsplash

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

What Empathy is and What it is Not

Posted on by Red Slice

We all agree empathy is a good idea. But not truly understanding what empathy is and what it isn’t gets in our way and causes more harm, burnout, and disconnection.

Empathy is NOT:

  • Being nice
  • Giving in
  • People pleasing
  • Making everybody happy
  • Avoiding hard truths to ensure comfort
  • Unanimous consensus (or satisfaction)
  • Hiding information
  • Doing someone’s work for them

Empathy is:

  • Listening
  • Getting curious
  • Knowing your triggers, strengths, and blindspots (and those of your team!)
  • Take a beat
  • Making space and time
  • Enabling everyone to have a voice as input (even if you make the final call)
  • Transparency in decisions, especially the tough ones
  • Letting go of ego or righteous indignation to see another’s point of view
  • Knowing that good ideas come from anywhere
  • Admitting when we don’t know the answer – and rallying others to bring their ideas forth
  • Having the tough conversation as soon as possible, with grace and respect
  • Making clear decisions…AND
  • …not being afraid to course correct if you’re proven wrong or get new information
  • Seeing the whole person, both inside and outside of work
  • Meeting people where they are
  • Creating moments of joy and levity, even when the work is hard

Empathy is not doing FOR. It’s being WITH.

How does empathy show up in your team or organization?

Photo credit: Desola Lanre-Ologun on Unsplash

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

How Joy Leads to Empathy, Performance and Success

Posted on by Red Slice

The book is coming! September 10 is the day that The Empathy Dilemma: How Successful Leaders Balance Performance, People, and Personal Boundaries hits shelves to help leaders dedicated to people-centered practices to get the best performance possible balance the demands of the business with the needs of their people. Grab your free chapter at the link above!

Today, we’re diving into the last of the Five Pillars of Effective Empathetic Leadership: Joy. 

Probably my most head-turning one.  What the heck does joy have to do with empathy or high-performance? Quickly followed by, I’m awkward and not that funny!

To get you up to speed, the Five Pillars of Effective Empathetic Leadership are common traits and behaviors shared by the successful leaders I interview, research, speak to, and advise.. It’s how they balance people, performance, and personal boundaries with such grace and dexterity.

Joy is the fifth of the five pillars for effective and empathetic leadership in my upcoming book, The Empathy Dilemma: How Success Leaders Balance Performance, People, and Personal Boundaries, coming September 10.

Let’s dig into it: Joy

What Is Joy?

Ensuring people enjoy their work, encouraging work friendships, and creating a thriving culture even when the work itself is challenging.

Why Is Joy Important?

A joyful work culture breeds trust to collaborate, innovate, and take risks. It empowers people to have each other’s backs. Multiple studies have shown that when people enjoy their work it leads to lower rates of turnover, higher productivity and engagement, increased company profits, and loyalty to the employer.

We all know we feel lighter, more buoyed by a work environment we like going back to. It’s basic common sense. If I enjoy my colleagues and feel safe and motivated in my environment, my work will reflect that. Now, joy does not mean every moment of work is joyful. I mean, I don’t particularly find find joy in client crisis or invoicing or budget spreadsheets (well, actually some of you might) But joy  – or levity, or camaraderie – as part of the empathetic culture equation means I can find joy in the work even when the work itself is not joyful. As it will inevitably get at certain points, or they wouldn’t call it work!

What does joy have to do with empathy, you may be thinking? When we create a joy-filled environment, people can relax, be themselves, and share themselves as human beings. This leads to better understanding and collaboration. If I get to know you through joy, I can understand where you’re coming from. I can forgive your bad days and you can forgive mine. We can learn to listen and see common ground because we have  shared positive experiences. All the ingredients of an empathetic culture.

How Does Joy Benefit Leaders?

• Joy reduces stress – we can show up and laugh, smile, bring a little levity to what can be hard work.

• Happy team members are easier to lead

• Fun environments foster trust and collaboration, which breeds innovation and high performance.

So, how can you incorporate more joy in your team and workplace culture?

Find and Encourage Humor: The ability to laugh at ourselves and to find humor in tough situations is a sure sign of resilience, which is just what healthy teams need. Things can and will go wrong, but when we stop taking ourselves so seriously, we can engage our prefrontal cortex to problem solve more effectively. No, you don’t have to be a comedian, or even force it, but letting people know it’s okay to laugh, share memes, or talk about the latest celebrity gossip while getting work  – all of that goes a long way to making work a place we want to be. Some great examples are in the book about how some leaders allow moments to organically arise and the team turns those into inside jokes or casual rituals. 

Learn Improv Skills to Nurture Creativity and Trust

Improv best practices can help teams collaborate in virtually any environment. Learning how to think on your feet, listen well and pass the ball, and yes, even laugh at the outcomes can unleash trust that leads to innovation.

Encourage Workplace Friendships

As someone who has met some of my lifelong best friends at work – and my husband, this one is my favorite. The old rules about your “work self”and your “personal self”have gone out the window. We are who we are and we bring who we are to work. I’m not saying let it all hang out or act crassly, but it’s okay to get personal. It should even be encouraged. Mountains of research indicate that having friends in the workplace doesn’t only boost job satisfaction and performance, it also improves wellness. It’s linked to a lower risk of burnout, improved mental health, and maybe even a longer life span, according to studies conducted across Europe and Israel. As a leader, it’s your role to foster a culture of warmth and connection so your team members know that work friendships are encouraged.

Make Meaningful Team-Building a Priority

One time long ago, I joined a rather soulless tech firm. With its drab brown cubicles, high walls, and quirky personalities, it truly channeled the movie Office Space when, in my first week, everyone was dragged to the conference room to sing happy birthday to an executive and it was utterly depressing!

No one wanted to be there.  I bet you’re thinking of a required Happy Hour or Ropes Course where you felt the same way.

Team-building has gotten a bad rep over the years as a cheesy, forced way to forge bonds, but when it’s done thoughtfully, it can totally transform interpersonal dynamics for the better. Before you pursue team-building, make sure that your internal culture is already serving the needs of your people. Team-building should be a source of shared joy, not a bandage slapped onto a festering cultural issue. Find ways to get everyone involved in suggesting activities, doing community service projects, and ensuring that a variety of options are accessible to everyone regardless of level, ability, neurodiversity, whether they have to get home to kids or not, recovering alcoholics, etc. When you can tie team building to your company mission, that is the best experience for everyone to forge bonds and get to know each other outside of work.

As I wind down on sharing the high level 5 Pillars of Effective Empathetic Leadership, I would like to make something crystal clear. 

These pillars are not the sole responsibility of the leader. 

It is not all on your shoulders to build up the pillars of self–awareness, self-care,clarity, decisiveness, and joy. These are pillars you can introduce, model, and cultivate an environment. But share the load with your team. Have them make suggestions, take on aspects that may be a challenging blind spot for you, and practice this with each other. I would hate for leaders to think I’m just adding more to their burden. When we talk about the 5 pillars that ensure effective empathetic leadership, yes, we are talking about your own personal pillars, but the team pillars can and should be strengthened and upheld by everyone.   Involve them in the process. Be transparent about what you’re trying to do and work on. Let them play a role so they have ownership and engagement. And when you do that, you will nurture an empathetic environment that flows in both directions!

To better understand these deceptively simple strategies in detail, please get a free chapter and buy your copy of The Empathy Dilemma for stories from leaders, and actionable tactics to put these strategies into practice.  These 5 pillars will transform how your team engages, performs, innovates, delivers for you and your customers.  

Photo Credit: Johnson Wang on Unsplash

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

How to Be More Decisive As a Leader

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Decisiveness is the fourth of the five pillars in my upcoming book, The Empathy Dilemma: How Success Leaders Balance Performance, People, and Personal Boundaries.

What are the Five Pillars of Effective Empathetic Leadership?

These are common traits and behaviors seen over and over again in the successful empathetic leaders I interview, speak to, and advise. Even those who truly are empathetic, but don’t label themselves as such! The 5 pillars are a result of hundreds of podcast interviews, research, and data and are common threads across all those who are empathetic and high performing.

Let’s dig into the fourth one: Decisiveness

What Is Decisiveness? Taking thoughtful but swift action that doesn’t leave people hanging, addressing issues before they fester, synthesizing input and perspectives to make timely choices, and practicing radical and kind honesty.

Why Is Decisiveness Important? Keeping people in limbo is one of the least empathetic things a leader can do. It can feel risky to commit to decisions quickly, but dragging your feet to avoid hurt feelings will only erode trust. Addressing choices, performance issues, action plans, and pending questions as soon as possible is the most compassionate way to operate. Doing this shows your team members that you are paying attention and want them to know what to expect. It helps them fully understand what’s happening around them. Decisiveness helps leaders maintain team momentum, cultivate trust, and build a culture of open and consistent honesty.

Most empathetic leaders strive to hear and implement input from all their people. But sometimes endlessly soliciting everyone’s feedback for unanimous agreement can drive your team mad.

I share a story in the book about a brand story client I had way back when. The team was paralyzed and frustrated because the CEO would simply not make an important decision about distribution priority, which impacted who our brand story needed to primarily speak to and attract. In the name of wanting to solicit all perspectives, the CEO dragged his feet on making the decisions and by this point, the team was like, “Can we just decide and move forward already?!”

There is no one perfect decision that will please everyone. That’s not the goal. The goal is to know when you’ve gathered enough input to then make an informed call – and to communicate why that call was made back to everyone so they can understand how their ideas were considered and ask questions.

Here are six strategies to try to be more decisive and empathetic. 

More details, examples, and tactics to try can be found in The Empathy Dilemma, so don’t forget to snag your copy now!

  1. Revisit Your Goal and Purpose—Often

Much of the time, leaders can get caught up in the drama surrounding important decisions and lose sight of the goal. Ensure everyone is on the same page so when a decision is made, you can put it in context of the goal. This helps people understand that while their input is valuable, if it detracts from the goal, it may not be the right course of action. It also keeps you honest to not get caught up in people-pleasing.

  1. Practice Transparency

There’s no need to make all decisions in a secretive way and unveil them only when they are fully baked. Learn to be clearer quicker, and if possible, talk openly about the choices you’re making and have made. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t know, but let’s find out together.” This ensures folks know what you considered and can trust you and the process.

  1. Solicit and Synthesize Input Quickly and Fairly

Become skilled at gathering facts and opinions, giving others a voice so they can point out opportunities or risks you may have missed, sorting through all the inputs, and coming to a conclusion. Be clear that once a decision is made, naysayers will be asked to disagree but commit. At a certain point, we’ve all got to move forward together and still be committed to the mission.

  1. Put a Deadline on Your Thoughts

Decisiveness isn’t only about making good choices; it’s about making good choices in a timely manner. If you tend to ruminate endlessly, you need a mechanism to get your- self unstuck, such as setting aside a block of time to make a decision, which is itself a task. Get in the habit of setting deadlines for decisions that trip you up. If it’s a small decision—say, picking a spot for a business lunch— give yourself a few hours. If it’s weightier—a big investment or strategic pivot—think more in terms of days or weeks.

  1. Build Trust

In an environment where trust has been cultivated and built, people are more willing to trust a leader’s decisions, even if it’s a tough decision for them to swallow. If your people don’t trust you, they’re less likely to think your decisions have been reached fairly, with everyone’s input and overall best interests in mind. This may not link directly to your own ability to make decisions as a leader, but it’s vitally important to ensure those decisions are accepted, instead of questioned and picked apart.

  1. Adopt a Design-Thinking Approach

Design thinking asks us to experiment and try things out to see if they will fly in the real world. If you force yourself to consider every option until you’re sure you’ve selected the

“perfect” one, you may never make a decision for fear of being wrong. Perfection isn’t the goal, even when it comes to high- stakes choices. Don’t succumb to analysis paralysis. Instead, gather input, decide, and move forward with a sense of curiosity and experimentation.

To better understand these deceptively simple strategies in detail, please check out The Empathy Dilemma for stories from leaders, and actionable tactics to put these strategies into practice. 

These 5 pillars of empathetic leadership outlined in the book will transform how your team engages, performs, innovates, delivers for you and your customers.  

Check out more about the book here: www.TheEmpathyDilemma.com.

Photo Credit: Daniele Levis Pelusi on Unsplash

Cash flow, creativity, and compassion are not mutually exclusive™

How Does Clarity Lead to Empathetic Leadership

Posted on by Red Slice

Clarity is the third of the five pillars in my upcoming book, The Empathy Dilemma: How Success Leaders Balance Performance, People, and Personal Boundaries.

What are the Five Pillars of Effective Empathetic Leadership?

These are common traits and behaviors seen over and over again in the successful empathetic leaders I interview, speak to, and advise. Even those who truly are empathetic, but don’t label themselves as such! The 5 pillars are a result of hundreds of podcast interviews, research, and data and are common threads across all those who are empathetic and high-performing.

Let’s dig into the third one: Clarity

What Is Clarity? 

Ensuring everyone is on the exact same page through clear communication, expectations, feedback, and understanding of job roles, all of which roll up to an action- able mission statement and meaningful company values.

Why Is Clarity Important? 

Resentments build where misunderstandings thrive. One of the biggest reasons leaders and workers butt heads is lack of communication on mission, roles, and responsibilities. When people know what’s expected of them—including in emergencies and on an as-needed basis— they are less likely to become disgruntled or even feel entitled. Clarity helps people feel seen, heard, and valued; reduces the likelihood of conflict; and enables everyone to work together more effectively.

Clarity is so underrated. And woefully underused.

Sure, plenty of leaders talk a good game about its importance, but plenty more shy away from actually creating clarity when things get diplomatically dicey. 

Here are five strategies to try to be more clear. More details, examples, and tactics to try can be found in The Empathy Dilemma, so don’t forget to snag your presale copy now!

  1. Revisit Purpose and Values

Clarity on minutiae won’t mean bupkis if your teams don’t have foundational clarity on the company’s purpose and values. And neither leaders nor employees will be able to act compassionately if the shared purpose and values are confusing or vague.

  1. Clarify Roles and Expectations

How many people review their job descriptions after they’ve been hired? The number probably approaches zero, except during annual review periods. Given that, consider what you can do to ensure your team members understand and agree to their roles and responsibilities. Think beyond the job description to how you can clearly articulate the team’s rules of engagement. Have these discussions. Document them. And revisit often.

  1. Link Clarity to Accountability

You can’t hold people accountable if they’re not clear on their expectations and goals. Otherwise, what are they being held accountable to? Everyone on your team should be able to say,

“I clearly understand my contribution, I clearly understand that I’m accountable for this piece of the puzzle, and I’m accountable for how I show up every day.”

  1. Tell People Why

Leaders are busy and overwhelmed, which means they often convey what needs to be done and when but omit the reason why. Lacking a reason why, people feel disrespected or kept in the dark. This amounts to an empathy gap, and one that can be closed quickly and easily with clear explanations. They may not like the answer, but at least they understand why the ask is being made.

  1. Ask Better Questions

Little-known fact: clarity doesn’t come from having the right answer; it comes from asking the right questions. This can include knowing the right prompts when someone approaches you with a concern or problem. 

To better understand these deceptively simple strategies in detail, please check out The Empathy Dilemma for stories from leaders, and tactics to put these strategies into practice. 

These 5 pillars will transform how your team engages, performs, innovates, delivers for you and your customers.  

Enjoy special pre-sale and launch bonuses – click here now to check them out!

Check out more about the book here: www.TheEmpathyDilemma.com.

Photo Credit: David Travis, Unsplash